Home Hygiene
I have always done my own cleaning. Not very often, mind. Once every month or so keeps the funghi at bay. But, each time I've worked out where I keep the dusters, boy do I let rip! Skirting boards. Pelmets. U bends. With my portable radio in one armpit and a sheaf of Miele nozzles in the other, I stalk the vicarage assaulting cobwebs and secretly binning any infant possessions that can't be kicked to oblivion under the beds. But uncooperative lungs have prevented me terrorising the family filth since mid December and even the Vicar is noticing the dustballs that skim in his wake. Sensibly, he seeks out a cleaner for a day to tide us over. I am excited because someone else can fidget the grime out of my daughter's shell collection. And I am nervous because I'm not sure I can cope with someone toiling over my bacteria while I lie on my day bed. What if she forgets to tame the muesli-like stuff under the sofa cushions? (We don't buy muesli. How does it get there?) Wh...
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ReplyDelete'What do you think to my new purchase? I kept the receipt just incase....'
ReplyDelete"They were just giving them away, with a note saying 'allergic to water but feed regularly'"
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ReplyDeleteAnd here you see the absolute pinnacle of Swedish design: the boy
ReplyDeleteI told him if he carried on i'll be returnin him to where i brought him!
ReplyDeleteoops!
ReplyDeleteAS his mother lowered him into the "high bag", he didn't have the heart to tell her he had said he wanted and "I-pad".................
She was very glad she had kept the receipt!
ReplyDeletethe red eyed monster I purchased suddenly came to life... I hope he has an off switch!
ReplyDeleteTo safeguard Sally's reputation, her above remarks were not too hot to handle; they removed because they inadvertantly named the children.
ReplyDeleteHeard of thinking outside the box? Well this is thinking inside the bag!
ReplyDeleteA boy in a bag - the perfect gift for Christmas
ReplyDeleteWith these red eyes and this blue bag I can travel back in time.
ReplyDeleteThe robot clone he'd bought himself would come in handy when he didn't want to go to school. Only the eyes threatened to give him away.
ReplyDeleteYou can get anything on eBay these days
ReplyDeleteAnd look what came free with it!
ReplyDeleteWe've all heard of Cat in a Bag, but the new fan-dangled 2011 thing is, Boy in a Bag, you heard it here first, get your's quick before the 2012 rush...
ReplyDeleteThank God it wasn't BOGOF!
ReplyDeleteMum's returning me...apparently I'm faulty!
ReplyDelete