Home Hygiene
I have always done my own cleaning. Not very often, mind. Once every month or so keeps the funghi at bay. But, each time I've worked out where I keep the dusters, boy do I let rip! Skirting boards. Pelmets. U bends. With my portable radio in one armpit and a sheaf of Miele nozzles in the other, I stalk the vicarage assaulting cobwebs and secretly binning any infant possessions that can't be kicked to oblivion under the beds. But uncooperative lungs have prevented me terrorising the family filth since mid December and even the Vicar is noticing the dustballs that skim in his wake. Sensibly, he seeks out a cleaner for a day to tide us over. I am excited because someone else can fidget the grime out of my daughter's shell collection. And I am nervous because I'm not sure I can cope with someone toiling over my bacteria while I lie on my day bed. What if she forgets to tame the muesli-like stuff under the sofa cushions? (We don't buy muesli. How does it get there?) Wh...
Damien the Omen child was alive and well and living in a box - surpriseeeee!
ReplyDeletedon't you know how much it cost to have a shoebox flat in Central London? we just like minimal living
ReplyDeleteI know the vicarage isn't quite what we're used to, darlings, but the C of E has to find savings somewhere
ReplyDeleteBest. Review. Package. Ever.
ReplyDeleteMWHAHAHA mere mortal you cannot keep my prisoner in this box ! Go go gadget laser eyes!
ReplyDeleteAfter three days in the dark, the stowaways were just grateful that someone had opened the box!
ReplyDeleteif they stayed really quiet then they wouldn't be made to eat Mums all day breakfast!!!!
ReplyDeletedon't think this was such a great christmas present mum!
ReplyDeleteAfter receiving so many unneeded Christmas presents, we decided to return the children.
ReplyDelete