The Magic of Mothering

This week's 100-word challenge at Julia's Place requires us to use the word ruby. It just so happens that...


It strikes me, as I try transmuting a pair of Doodles into Dorothy’s ruby slippers: parenting classes omit crucial aspects of child-rearing. They are eloquent about weaning and potty-training, but they don’t touch on how to conjure a flock of sheep from Whiskas boxes or improvise a Victorian maid’s cap from a wedding garter.

Primary education is less about times-tables and more about encapsulating historical and literary landmarks from household flotsam.

My advice to new parents is to relax about the intuitive routines of feeding and hygiene. They’ll need all their energies for mastering conjuring tricks when their children start school. 

Comments

  1. Random Pearls Of Wisdom1 May 2012 at 20:49

    A true philosopher indeed. Wise words for impending parents. They may not believe you but time will pass and they will come to understand the truth as spoken by the prophet known as matron ! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Rachel Selby2 May 2012 at 08:12

    Haha so true, so sad. I may boycott all that craft stuff and just send a cake instead.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron2 May 2012 at 10:57

      You don't have the choice. Maybe, though, they don't have World Book Day in Jerusalem which will spare you some of the pain.

      Delete
    2. Rachel Selby2 May 2012 at 20:14

      OK, so home schooling it is then.

      Delete
  3. Sandra Crook2 May 2012 at 09:35

    I could identify with this. My stepdaughter had to create a costume for her kids for some special day at school. She sent Joshua off in a fabulous concoction (Transformer - one of those toys that is a car, but when you unbend it - for ages - it turns into a robot, like the advert). It was so good, the other Mum's have asked her to take order for costumes for the future...

    Good advice in this piece, from one who knows I suspect.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron2 May 2012 at 11:00

      Surprisingly, after witnessing my children's costumes, noone has ever asked the same favour of me! And boy, yes, I am one who knows. All of the above is true and I didn't even mention the 17th century fireman's costume mentioned five minutes before the school run, the emergency Dumbledore last term, the 1940s outfit last week and the last-minute Alice in Wonderland trauma.

      Delete
  4. Juliette2 May 2012 at 14:07

    Fabulous! My husband spent a week creating a castle from toilet rolls & I feel inadequate when asked in the Sunday email for empty lemonade bottles for Tuesday, when we don't buy lemonade at all! And easter 'bonnets' for boys? Impossible!

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    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron2 May 2012 at 19:41

      Ditto ditto. Ours ask for shoe boxes as though we buy new pairs monthly. And cereal boxes - as if those haven't already been converted into 'televisions' so that the kids can tell their peers they have one in their rooms!

      Delete
  5. Older Mum2 May 2012 at 14:36

    This is so true, they dont come with a module on how to improve your imagination. Yesterday my daughter and I were swimming in a river in the middle of my bedroom at her behest. I felt a bit wooden in the in the lets pretend department!

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    Replies
    1. A Little Light Work2 May 2012 at 19:42

      Your swimming game sounds very like one my sis and I used to play on the carpet of my parents' bedroom. It was chocolate brown (this was the 1970s). The game was called Poo Poo Sea. We have both turned out to be quite well adjusted, all things considered.

      Delete
    2. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron2 May 2012 at 19:43

      I am with you there. I'm happy to play board/ball games but dread the moment I'm asked to be Miss Trunchball in class (although she and I share many characteristics).

      Delete
  6. A Little Light Work2 May 2012 at 19:40

    And what, pray, is a Doodle?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron2 May 2012 at 19:43

      A fancy canvas shoe from Clarks.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous6 May 2012 at 08:13

      Thank you, that was my question too. The power of transmutation sounds like a necessary skill for Mums - do they have classes for that? ;) Fantastic response to the prompt.

      Delete
  7. Ellen3 May 2012 at 13:05

    An unsung skill indeed, I had - at short order - to create a costume for the Ghost of Christmas Past a couple of months ago. A Dickens of a job.

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    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron3 May 2012 at 16:08

      Ha! I coud almost run to a ghost but that assumes you have spare sheets knocking around, whereas all mine are fully employed.

      Delete
  8. Miriam3 May 2012 at 14:18

    I was never good at that. I managed to make a Pied Piper costume once. It's too small for them now. Rats!

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    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron3 May 2012 at 16:09

      Pied Piper requires enormous feats of ingenuity. You must be better than you suppose!

      Delete
  9. jfb578 May 2012 at 17:21

    As a primary head teacher I was in awe of the things that parents could produce seemingly from thin air. You are so right - it should be part of anti-natal!

    ReplyDelete

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