You know you are a vicar's wife when...

This week's listography at Katetakes5 has as its topic 'Five reasons I know I'm a...'. You get to fill in the blank yourself. First I thought I'd pick 'slattern', but I've already confessed much about my domestic indolence. Mothering Sunday has exhausted my motherliness, so that's out, and I had trouble thinking of what else I am, until someone hailed me as 'Father's wife'.


So - you know you're a vicar's wife when:

You find a dog collar in your knicker drawer.

You are the only one in trousers round a dinner table of (cassocked) male clergy

You are fluent in the afflictions and ailments of half the senior population within a quarter-mile radius

You can improvise emergency small talk about dialogical personalism if stranded with a bishop

You can, with a single kettle and five packs of Cheddar slices, host 70 famished faithful in your back garden.

Comments

  1. Very Bored in Catalunya20 March 2012 at 15:42

    Tea and Cheese Sandwiches - is this the modern day equivalent of feeding the 5,000.

    I quite like the idea of being the only one wearing the trousers! ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron20 March 2012 at 18:58

      Yeah, it can be enjoyable. Although when I was once in Oddbins with two cassocks it was peculiar.

      Delete
  2. Bibsey Mama20 March 2012 at 16:27

    I am amused by the idea of finding a dog collar in the knicker draw. I think that I would be useless with the parishioners.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron20 March 2012 at 18:59

      Yes, the parishioners don't tend to get as far as my knicker drawer!

      Delete
    2. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron20 March 2012 at 19:00

      Yes, mostly the parishioners don't get as far as my knicker drawer.

      Delete
  3. Older Mum20 March 2012 at 16:54

    Love the dog collar in the knicker drawer. Those are big cheese slices!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Slummy to Yummy Mummy20 March 2012 at 16:58

    Lol, that's really funny! Though it does beg the question - how did the collar get in with the knickers...?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ellen20 March 2012 at 17:52

    Do tell - what's dialogical personalism? It might come in handy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron20 March 2012 at 18:57

      It's a, um, thingy about whatsit with God in it. And a German.

      Delete
  6. Rachel Selby20 March 2012 at 18:01

    Emergency smalltalk is a vital life skill - you should run courses and write a how-to book.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron20 March 2012 at 19:04

      I once went on a compulsory course on conversation run by Age Concern for would-be volunteers. Step 1 was face the person you are talking to. Step 2 Make a remark they can reply to.And so on. It's been my social bedrock ever since.

      Delete
  7. Kate20 March 2012 at 20:36

    Call me when you can turn the water into wine and I might be impressed.

    (BTW - I am currently sitting on the sofa with my football watching husband. He saw your blog and said - 'Now THAT'S a nice blog design'. I'm slightly concerned. #flowers

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous20 March 2012 at 20:55

    fab post, agree with Kate on the water/wine, you'd get loads of followers! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron22 March 2012 at 12:51

      It's tactless even to mention booze during Lent when enforced penance has turned wine (and lager) into water in the vicarage!

      Delete
  9. Unknown22 March 2012 at 12:22

    Very funny indeed! And the last two points sound very impressive!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron22 March 2012 at 12:50

      Not really. Not when you experience both improvisations first hand. But thanks!

      Delete

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