Tuesday, 20 March 2012

You know you are a vicar's wife when...

This week's listography at Katetakes5 has as its topic 'Five reasons I know I'm a...'. You get to fill in the blank yourself. First I thought I'd pick 'slattern', but I've already confessed much about my domestic indolence. Mothering Sunday has exhausted my motherliness, so that's out, and I had trouble thinking of what else I am, until someone hailed me as 'Father's wife'.


So - you know you're a vicar's wife when:

You find a dog collar in your knicker drawer.

You are the only one in trousers round a dinner table of (cassocked) male clergy

You are fluent in the afflictions and ailments of half the senior population within a quarter-mile radius

You can improvise emergency small talk about dialogical personalism if stranded with a bishop

You can, with a single kettle and five packs of Cheddar slices, host 70 famished faithful in your back garden.

19 comments:

  1. Tea and Cheese Sandwiches - is this the modern day equivalent of feeding the 5,000.

    I quite like the idea of being the only one wearing the trousers! ;-)

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    1. Yeah, it can be enjoyable. Although when I was once in Oddbins with two cassocks it was peculiar.

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  2. I am amused by the idea of finding a dog collar in the knicker draw. I think that I would be useless with the parishioners.

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    1. Yes, the parishioners don't tend to get as far as my knicker drawer!

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    2. Yes, mostly the parishioners don't get as far as my knicker drawer.

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  3. Love the dog collar in the knicker drawer. Those are big cheese slices!

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    1. One each for those with appetites. It's called thrift.

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  4. Lol, that's really funny! Though it does beg the question - how did the collar get in with the knickers...?

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    1. They get everywhere and are a menace to Hoover belts.

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  5. Do tell - what's dialogical personalism? It might come in handy.

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    1. It's a, um, thingy about whatsit with God in it. And a German.

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  6. Emergency smalltalk is a vital life skill - you should run courses and write a how-to book.

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    1. I once went on a compulsory course on conversation run by Age Concern for would-be volunteers. Step 1 was face the person you are talking to. Step 2 Make a remark they can reply to.And so on. It's been my social bedrock ever since.

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  7. Call me when you can turn the water into wine and I might be impressed.

    (BTW - I am currently sitting on the sofa with my football watching husband. He saw your blog and said - 'Now THAT'S a nice blog design'. I'm slightly concerned. #flowers

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  8. fab post, agree with Kate on the water/wine, you'd get loads of followers! :)

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    1. It's tactless even to mention booze during Lent when enforced penance has turned wine (and lager) into water in the vicarage!

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  9. Very funny indeed! And the last two points sound very impressive!

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    1. Not really. Not when you experience both improvisations first hand. But thanks!

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