Wednesday, 22 February 2012

The Flip Side of Virtue

The Vicar tells the congregation that Lenten sacrifices make us nicer. The surrender of favourite indulgences grants us time and energy to expand and explore our life and nature. 

I am persuaded and I am inspired. I resolve to give up lager and Bendicks Bittermints and watch my Being blossom.

That night the Vicar is out of humour. He is silent over dinner and scowls at the water glass where the red wine should be. I point out that Lenten sacrifices make us nicer. He stares. ‘You said so,’ I remind him. He sags. ‘I was,’ he mutters, ‘talking bollocks!’



This is an entry for a 100-Word Challenge on the subject of 'Flip Side'. See more offerings at Julia's Place


NB This incident is, of course, almost entirely fictional!

21 comments:

  1. I recall having the local vicar over for dinner during lent cos his wife had left him to fend for himself! After the 1st bottle of wine had been demolished, we discussed what we had given up for lent - he said wine!!!!!

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  2. I've been trying to work out which parts of this are fictional and have decided that none of it is – it all rings so true!

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  3. Wow, how do you reply to that comment?

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  4. better watch the communion wine on Sunday! I can't believe a man of the cloth would use a word like bollocks...totally ruined my admiration of him. :(

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  5. As I say, it's entirely fictional! You must be thinking of someone else...

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  6. A great aunt of mine, who was otherwise extremely pious, and prudish, would use the word 'bollocks' with wild abandon, i.e
    "This fruit cake is bollocks"
    "This morning's sermon was bollocks wasn't it?"
    One day, one of the church deacons challenged her about her use of the word, and it turns out she had no idea it was a 'swear' word. She just thought it meant 'awful'. She was utterly mortified of course, and never used it again. What a shame!

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    1. Gosh! Bit like my mother and 'wanking'. I'm certain that it's the same with the Vicar (the fictional Vicar in this story, I mean!)

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  7. I am across the pond and learned a new words today.. bollocks! :) I enjoyed your story!

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    1. Bollocks is my cuss of choice. Do you know what it means over in the US (he said patronizingly)?

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    2. Bollocks is a fantastic word. We taught it to an American friend when he was over and he couldn't stop saying it. If you're ever in New York and hear someone say it, it's probably down to him.

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  8. My daughter has declared that she has given up sprouts for Lent. Given that she has never knowingly eaten a sprout in almost eight years, I would say that this is no great hardship for her.

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    1. Canny child. My daughter declared piously that she would give up church-going for Lent!

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  9. I have been forced at gunpoint by the kids to give up swearing for lent but it is bloody hard and now I have to resort to getting it out of my system by swearing on anonymous peoples blogs!

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  10. I've decided to give up ironing for lent. I didn't want to take on a challenge that I knew I would fail at. Seeing as I never started ironing in the first place I thought it would be a good thing to not fail stopping at. P.S. Love your now blog look *switswoo*.

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  11. And about time too! Welcome to the 100-Word Challenge. Next week you can do a tritina.

    :-)

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  12. Loved the punch line! I'm not a morning person either - bollocks to it!

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  13. What a wonderful word. It just seems to express everything without being too vulgar. As a person who hates swearing I think I could be converted by this one.

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  14. Haha, sound man. I haven't given up anything for Lent. My life is already pared almost to the bone and my few pleasures are the ones that keep me from running for the hills. So yes to crisps and nuts and the odd half glass of white while I cook. :)

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  15. I seem to have given up my diet for lent.

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