Tuesday, 2 October 2012

Marital Mysteries


The latest prompt for the 100 Word Challenge requires us to add 100 words to suddenly it was in my hand. For some reason my tax return sprang to mind, but as I tried to wrestle this into appropriate prose, I recalled a disconcerting revelation at the start of my marriage: 


It must have slithered somehow from its moorings for suddenly it was in my hand. My mother had warned me that marriage exposes many mysteries, but I hadn't anticipated this. In those early days it would unfurl in the most inconvenient places and, frankly, I was disappointed. It was thin, short and slippery – not the imposing specimen it had looked from afar. Nowadays, of course, I'm used to it. If I spot it where it shouldn't be I restore it reverently to its place. But I remain disconcerted by its measliness – the plastic dog collars that roam modern vicarages are shadows of their starched-linen predecessors.



22 comments:

  1. And I thought the slog of ironing shirts was bad! Those pesky dog collars. Have you ever tripped on one? Original as ever! X.

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    1. They're way too insubstantial to trip on. But one did break the Hoover belt once! They get everywhere - even found one on the bread machine.

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  2. Tut tut: you cheeky thing....

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  3. Does he still wear collars fashioned from old yogurt pots?

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    1. Fairy Liquid bottles, you mean. No, cos they don;t make them in white plastic any more! Not sure what to use now if he loses his collar supply again.

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  4. Love this post. I wondered after reading it, how many exactly constitutes a decent supply? Are they like hairbands - one in every drawer / pocket / bag?

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    1. I'll have to count them. Around half a dozen short plastic ones, a couple of long plastic ones and one or two linen ones for posh, I'd say.

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  5. Ooh, you've mastered innuendo, haven't you? :)

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  6. Replies
    1. Annoyingly, once the memory of the dog collar came to mind I couldn't think of anything else that would serve.

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  7. Hehehe - clever!! I always thought they looked really awkward to wear.

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    1. These modern ones are quite simple. They just fit into the slits of the clerical shirt collar. Always reminds me of inserting dentures.

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  8. DancingInTheRain4 October 2012 at 20:56

    Most amusing. Well done :-)

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  9. Lovely :-). And here I was wondering whether I really wanted to know what you're talking about.

    Anyway, I've always loved the expression dog-collar, so beautifully irreverent...

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