Marital Mysteries


The latest prompt for the 100 Word Challenge requires us to add 100 words to suddenly it was in my hand. For some reason my tax return sprang to mind, but as I tried to wrestle this into appropriate prose, I recalled a disconcerting revelation at the start of my marriage: 


It must have slithered somehow from its moorings for suddenly it was in my hand. My mother had warned me that marriage exposes many mysteries, but I hadn't anticipated this. In those early days it would unfurl in the most inconvenient places and, frankly, I was disappointed. It was thin, short and slippery – not the imposing specimen it had looked from afar. Nowadays, of course, I'm used to it. If I spot it where it shouldn't be I restore it reverently to its place. But I remain disconcerted by its measliness – the plastic dog collars that roam modern vicarages are shadows of their starched-linen predecessors.



Comments

  1. Older Mum2 October 2012 at 09:14

    And I thought the slog of ironing shirts was bad! Those pesky dog collars. Have you ever tripped on one? Original as ever! X.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron2 October 2012 at 09:26

      They're way too insubstantial to trip on. But one did break the Hoover belt once! They get everywhere - even found one on the bread machine.

      Delete
    2. Older Mum2 October 2012 at 20:39

      The bread machine!

      Delete
  2. Imprudence2 October 2012 at 10:09

    Tut tut: you cheeky thing....

    ReplyDelete
  3. A Little Light Work2 October 2012 at 18:41

    Does he still wear collars fashioned from old yogurt pots?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron2 October 2012 at 18:59

      Fairy Liquid bottles, you mean. No, cos they don;t make them in white plastic any more! Not sure what to use now if he loses his collar supply again.

      Delete
  4. Katie PollyRabbit2 October 2012 at 21:23

    Love this post. I wondered after reading it, how many exactly constitutes a decent supply? Are they like hairbands - one in every drawer / pocket / bag?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron2 October 2012 at 22:14

      I'll have to count them. Around half a dozen short plastic ones, a couple of long plastic ones and one or two linen ones for posh, I'd say.

      Delete
  5. Rachel Selby2 October 2012 at 21:58

    Very funny.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Helen3 October 2012 at 05:57

    Ha ha lovely

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous3 October 2012 at 13:56

    Ooh, you've mastered innuendo, haven't you? :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sandra Crook4 October 2012 at 10:32

    A wicked little piece! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron4 October 2012 at 10:44

      Annoyingly, once the memory of the dog collar came to mind I couldn't think of anything else that would serve.

      Delete
  9. Anonymous4 October 2012 at 11:17

    Hehehe - clever!! I always thought they looked really awkward to wear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron4 October 2012 at 13:50

      These modern ones are quite simple. They just fit into the slits of the clerical shirt collar. Always reminds me of inserting dentures.

      Delete
  10. DancingInTheRain4 October 2012 at 20:56

    Most amusing. Well done :-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous6 October 2012 at 17:19

    Lovely :-). And here I was wondering whether I really wanted to know what you're talking about.

    Anyway, I've always loved the expression dog-collar, so beautifully irreverent...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous7 October 2012 at 03:34

    Very clever - made ME smile.

    ReplyDelete

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