Friday, 6 July 2012

Famous Five

A Littlelightwork, a brand new, witty, sophisticated Dad blogger (go and boost his stats as soon as you've read this. The fact that he's my brother is mere coincidence!) requires me to post up pictures of five famous people whom I reckon I resemble. It's a meme thing devised by Diary of a Dad and a tricky one for I don't even resemble myself these days. Cameras and mirrors show an unrecognisable middle-aged matron with eye bags and chin bristles, whereas I'm certain that the reality is closer to this:




Here, however, is the unvarnished truth (you can see the resemblance if you close your eyes):



Now, I do my best not to go round looking like famous people. I have never craved the spotlight and paparazzi lenses vex me. Hours I spend each morning trying to suppress any hint of Claudia Schiffer or Keira Knightley, although I've been told I bear a passing resemblance to that woman who writes for The Guardian:


I got a shock, however, when I opened my paper to find myself staring back out at me. Myself with better groomed hair, eyebrows, lips, clothes and poise that is. The likeness recedes when I compare the photos, but my boss, my neighbour, my best friend, the Lady who Does the Flowers and old mates of my brother's, whom I haven't seen for 12 years, all hastened to tell me that they'd seen my alter ego sashaying across their TV screens. So Lucy Worsley, Chief Curator at Historic Royal Palaces, must share some distant gene:

Her


Me


Then it happened again. I was reading of a heinous murder and a baffling disappearance and my own smug security was shaken by this:


Yes, there is the unnerving risk that Lord Lucan, should he be alive and at the same Tesco check-out as me, might mistake me for the wife he allegedly tried to bump off.

Talking of aristocracy, it's a little-known fact that, in the early 1980s, Lady Di modelled herself to some extent on me:

Lady Di
Me

Thirty years on, as I grower longer in tooth and jaw, I have more facial kinship with Emma Thompson:


Me


Emma Thompson

To be honest, I don't like the way things are going. Old cherished bits of me are dropping off, while new unwanted bits are sprouting on. Meet me here, same time, same place in in another two decades: you'll find I shall look like Andrew Marr:


At this point I'm supposed to tag more bloggers, but none of the bloggers I follow seems to like being preyed on, so I throw it open to you: whom do you resemble?

17 comments:

  1. That is brilliant, the Princess Diana one is uncanny, I thought it really was her in the tree, but then again, I might be slightly drunk. Sorry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Probably a trick of the light. In reality I look more like Prince Charles.

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  2. My sister's told me that I share an uncanny resemblance with Mark from Westlife, being female I found this rather offensive...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least it means that should you ever consider for gender realignment you know you'll be a heartthrob!

      Delete
  3. The lady Di is a bit uncanny! You're much hotter than Guardian lady though, her forehead is actually ginormous.

    I've been told I look like Little Boots. Not actual small shoes, but that singer that was semi popular a few summers ago. This chick

    http://pillowmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/little-boots.jpg

    I wish!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I daresay a high-rise forehead is a necessity to accommodate a towering intellect! ;-)

      Delete
  4. You're very pretty for a vicar's wife. If there were a beauty contest for vicar's wives, my money would be on you. People say I resemble King Kong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll take the first line, with its caveat, as a pleasant compliment, although I'm sure that vicars' wives in general would rise as a body in outrage at the assumption that they can't, by definition, be glam! People say my legs resemble King Kong's...

      Delete
  5. In my head I look like Audrey Hepburn, doe eyes, fluttering lashes but really I look like my (twin) sister....hateful not having a celebrity lookalike but a mere mortal as your double!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It depends what your twin looks like. If there's a hint of Ann Widdecombe then you are indeed burdened.

      Delete
  6. You are better looking than all of them (I know that might not sound like a compliment, given the presence of Andrew Marr - but I'm thinking of the others).

    I found out much later on that I was known as Ally McBeal when I was a young and attractive university lecturer - though I think that was all to do with being small and stick thin and having long blonde hair. I have never been compared to anyone famous since, though a Laura Ashley assistant said I looked like one of her old school teachers. I don't think she meant it in a good way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I specifically wanted to tag you on this - but after that flattery I shall never have the heart to victimise you!

      Delete
  7. I loved this .... you are such an attractive woman. Your alter egos should be comparing themselves to you!

    ReplyDelete
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