Friday, 29 November 2013

Motherhood

When I tried to imagine a future without my mother in it I pictured a short illness or a long decline. I never considered a zebra crossing on a dark night and a car that didn't brake in time.

My mother was planning our Christmas stockings and her spring tulips. Now she is in a coma. And my mother, who used to listen raptly to every trivial detail we told her, lies unheeding when we talk.

They say the hearing is the last thing to go. So I tell her that I'm wearing lipstick like she always begged me to; that I've dead-headed her pansies and burnt the supper I was trying to cook my father.

I want her to nag me about sterilising my dishcloths and taking my Vitamin C. I want her to tell me, like she always does, that she will make things be all right.

But I realise, as I gaze at the battered body in which my mother somewhere hides, that we are blessed. 'All I can, while I can,' she always told us. And she has never failed. Whether or not she returns to us, it's her love and strength that carry us onward. And that is the greatest legacy a person can leave.

41 comments:

  1. You and your family are in my prayers. xxx

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  2. Tears rolling down my face as I read this. Anna how awful for you all, and how brave to write about it. Hugs. Petronella

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  3. Oh I'm so sorry to hear this news. Lots of love to you and your family. XX

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  4. Thinking of you and your family and this time. Stay strong xx

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  5. Sorry - removed comment cos it came up as being from something I never use now! So I've gone anonymous.

    Much more importantly: I read your blog with gasps of recognition at heart-sinking moments and remembering my ma. I think your mama's "all I can, while I can" is simply wonderful: sometimes difficult to achieve but a jolly good prompt. I'm certain she will be hearing all that you say. Thinking of you.

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  6. This is very sad news indeed. Thinking of you and your family.

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  7. Oh Anna, i'm so sorry to hear this. I will keep her and all of you in my prayers. You know where I am f you need a baby sitter or anything at all. Please don't be afraid to ask. X

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  8. Oh my goodness I'm so sorry. I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts.

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  9. So sorry to hear this news Anna. Sending all my love and prayers at this very difficult time for you and yours. Ah words, never enough sometimes but you are very much in my thoughts.

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  10. What an awful and shocking thing to happen. Am so sorry Anna. Thinking of you and your Mother.

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  11. Oh Anna. I am so sorry, what an awful shock that must have been. Sending you lots of love and prayers. xxx

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  12. Oh no I'm so sorry. I hope you are as ok as can be at this difficult time. Thinking of you and your mum xx

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  13. Oh such a beautiful post - she sounds like a good good lady. Hugs x

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  14. Oh Anna, I am so sorry, so so sorry, am sending all my strength to you and your mum x

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  15. A heartbreaking post. Your Mother is lucky to have you for a daughter.

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  16. Oh no Anna, so unfair. Much love and healing thoughts heading your way . My very best wishes xx

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  17. Anna, this is just a big pile of poo and wish I could do something to help. Thinking of your and your dear Mum x

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  18. Sending you, your family and your mother much love.
    She sounds precious and I pray she comes back to you xx

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  19. There just aren't words. Sending love and positive thoughts to you and the family x x x

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  20. Thinking of you and your family in my prayers, much love x

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  21. I cannot imagine what you are going through. Thinking of you all at an impossibly difficult time. x

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  22. I did a double take on your blog post because I couldn't believe what I was reading. You and your family are in my prayers.

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  23. my thoughts are with you and your mother x bigs hugs x

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  24. Oh Anna I am so terribly sorry to read something so very sad. Will be keeping you all in my thoughts, and that lipstick looks lovely on you xxx

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  25. Praying for you as you go through 'deep waters'. There are no easy answers - but just hang on to the promises of Isaiah 43 xxx

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  26. I'm really sorry to hear about you mum, my thoughts are with you and your family.

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  27. Thanks to all of you for your supportive comments. Every one of them is a comfort.

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  28. What an awful, silly, stupid, terrible accident. I am lost for words.

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  29. So sorry to read this. Absolutely shocking. Will be thinking of your mum and you. What an awful thing for your family to have to come to terms with.

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  30. How very, very sad. My Mother had the long, slow, agonizing decline and it too was horrible, all ways are horrible and all we can do is hold them close in our hearts and remember the good times.

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  31. So sorry to read this. Much love to you and your family. Keep it up with the lipstick. xxx

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  32. Oh Anna, Wishing you much love at this time. She'll love hearing what you're doing. My very best wishes for her recovery xx

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  35. So very sorry to hear your news, sending love, healing and prayers for you and your family xx

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  36. So very sorry - life just turns on a sixpence sometimes. As I read this I am remembering my brother who literally dropped dead 2 years ago yesterday - something we could never anticipate. My heart goes out to you all.

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  37. Oh how sad. I'm so sorry. I wish you all an easy a time as possible during this difficult period. xxx

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  38. I am so sorry to have read this.... you and your family are in my thoughts. XXX

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  39. Oh no! I'm so sorry. Sending love and healing thoughts to your mum and all of you x

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