Motherhood

When I tried to imagine a future without my mother in it I pictured a short illness or a long decline. I never considered a zebra crossing on a dark night and a car that didn't brake in time.

My mother was planning our Christmas stockings and her spring tulips. Now she is in a coma. And my mother, who used to listen raptly to every trivial detail we told her, lies unheeding when we talk.

They say the hearing is the last thing to go. So I tell her that I'm wearing lipstick like she always begged me to; that I've dead-headed her pansies and burnt the supper I was trying to cook my father.

I want her to nag me about sterilising my dishcloths and taking my Vitamin C. I want her to tell me, like she always does, that she will make things be all right.

But I realise, as I gaze at the battered body in which my mother somewhere hides, that we are blessed. 'All I can, while I can,' she always told us. And she has never failed. Whether or not she returns to us, it's her love and strength that carry us onward. And that is the greatest legacy a person can leave.

Comments

  1. Ruth Taylor29 November 2013 at 07:55

    You and your family are in my prayers. xxx

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  2. Anonymous29 November 2013 at 08:54

    Tears rolling down my face as I read this. Anna how awful for you all, and how brave to write about it. Hugs. Petronella

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  3. The40yearold29 November 2013 at 10:10

    Oh I'm so sorry to hear this news. Lots of love to you and your family. XX

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  4. Anonymous29 November 2013 at 10:20

    Thinking of you and your family and this time. Stay strong xx

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  5. Anonymous29 November 2013 at 10:30

    Sorry - removed comment cos it came up as being from something I never use now! So I've gone anonymous.

    Much more importantly: I read your blog with gasps of recognition at heart-sinking moments and remembering my ma. I think your mama's "all I can, while I can" is simply wonderful: sometimes difficult to achieve but a jolly good prompt. I'm certain she will be hearing all that you say. Thinking of you.

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  6. Anonymous29 November 2013 at 12:18

    This is very sad news indeed. Thinking of you and your family.

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  7. Singing Angel29 November 2013 at 13:01

    Oh Anna, i'm so sorry to hear this. I will keep her and all of you in my prayers. You know where I am f you need a baby sitter or anything at all. Please don't be afraid to ask. X

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  8. Jay29 November 2013 at 16:14

    Oh my goodness I'm so sorry. I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts.

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  9. kateonthinice29 November 2013 at 17:36

    So sorry to hear this news Anna. Sending all my love and prayers at this very difficult time for you and yours. Ah words, never enough sometimes but you are very much in my thoughts.

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  10. Helloitsgemma29 November 2013 at 17:42

    What an awful and shocking thing to happen. Am so sorry Anna. Thinking of you and your Mother.

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  11. Mummy Glitzer29 November 2013 at 18:19

    Oh Anna. I am so sorry, what an awful shock that must have been. Sending you lots of love and prayers. xxx

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  12. Unknown29 November 2013 at 18:34

    Oh no I'm so sorry. I hope you are as ok as can be at this difficult time. Thinking of you and your mum xx

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  13. Actually Mummy...29 November 2013 at 19:12

    Oh such a beautiful post - she sounds like a good good lady. Hugs x

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  14. Jane29 November 2013 at 22:40

    Oh Anna, I am so sorry, so so sorry, am sending all my strength to you and your mum x

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  15. Susan Coleman29 November 2013 at 22:48

    A heartbreaking post. Your Mother is lucky to have you for a daughter.

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  16. Mammasaurus29 November 2013 at 23:55

    Oh no Anna, so unfair. Much love and healing thoughts heading your way . My very best wishes xx

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  17. Unknown30 November 2013 at 00:19

    Anna, this is just a big pile of poo and wish I could do something to help. Thinking of your and your dear Mum x

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  18. Chocolate is not the only fruit30 November 2013 at 00:23

    Sending you, your family and your mother much love.
    She sounds precious and I pray she comes back to you xx

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  19. Mary at Keynko30 November 2013 at 08:00

    There just aren't words. Sending love and positive thoughts to you and the family x x x

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  20. Boo Roo and Tigger Too30 November 2013 at 08:19

    Thinking of you and your family in my prayers, much love x

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  21. Kelly Innes30 November 2013 at 08:38

    I cannot imagine what you are going through. Thinking of you all at an impossibly difficult time. x

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  22. Iota 30 November 2013 at 09:05

    So sorry

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  23. Anonymous30 November 2013 at 09:33

    I did a double take on your blog post because I couldn't believe what I was reading. You and your family are in my prayers.

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  24. HPMcQ30 November 2013 at 09:33

    my thoughts are with you and your mother x bigs hugs x

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  25. Unknown30 November 2013 at 09:53

    Oh Anna I am so terribly sorry to read something so very sad. Will be keeping you all in my thoughts, and that lipstick looks lovely on you xxx

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  26. Jenny (Cheetahs In My Shoes)30 November 2013 at 09:54

    Much love Anna x

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  27. Angela30 November 2013 at 15:05

    Praying for you as you go through 'deep waters'. There are no easy answers - but just hang on to the promises of Isaiah 43 xxx

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  28. Ditzy Mummy30 November 2013 at 18:04

    I'm really sorry to hear about you mum, my thoughts are with you and your family.

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  29. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron30 November 2013 at 18:58

    Thanks to all of you for your supportive comments. Every one of them is a comfort.

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  30. Unknown30 November 2013 at 20:39

    What an awful, silly, stupid, terrible accident. I am lost for words.

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  31. SarahMummy30 November 2013 at 22:55

    So sorry to read this. Absolutely shocking. Will be thinking of your mum and you. What an awful thing for your family to have to come to terms with.

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  32. Mac n' Janet30 November 2013 at 23:54

    How very, very sad. My Mother had the long, slow, agonizing decline and it too was horrible, all ways are horrible and all we can do is hold them close in our hearts and remember the good times.

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  33. Bibsey Mama1 December 2013 at 16:54

    So sorry to read this. Much love to you and your family. Keep it up with the lipstick. xxx

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  34. Older Single Mum1 December 2013 at 22:07

    Oh Anna, Wishing you much love at this time. She'll love hearing what you're doing. My very best wishes for her recovery xx

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  35. Unknown2 December 2013 at 18:59

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  36. Unknown2 December 2013 at 19:00

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  37. Unknown2 December 2013 at 19:02

    So very sorry to hear your news, sending love, healing and prayers for you and your family xx

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  38. Anonymous3 December 2013 at 09:58

    So very sorry - life just turns on a sixpence sometimes. As I read this I am remembering my brother who literally dropped dead 2 years ago yesterday - something we could never anticipate. My heart goes out to you all.

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  39. Rachel Selby3 December 2013 at 18:18

    Oh how sad. I'm so sorry. I wish you all an easy a time as possible during this difficult period. xxx

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  40. Older Mum8 December 2013 at 09:23

    I am so sorry to have read this.... you and your family are in my thoughts. XXX

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  41. Mary @AsturianDiary13 December 2013 at 14:13

    Oh no! I'm so sorry. Sending love and healing thoughts to your mum and all of you x

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