Tuesday, 18 September 2012

How to Cook Incompetently

As the apple fell is the latest prompt for the 100 Word Challenge. Anyone who was on Twitter last week might have heard my anguished cries from the kitchen after I'd burnt a pan of apples. @kateab answered them with the following fragrant recipe which saved the greater part of the Vicar's cherished Le Creuset pan and, thereby, my marriage.


For decades it's shamed me. Then, as the apple fell, I made my resolution. My crassness in the kitchen is legendary. Guests pale at the thought of my catering. My children have been reared on fishfingers. But now Worcestershire Pearmains rain down on me and the lawn is aroll with Bramleys, so gingerly I braved the cooker. Too late, the stench of incinerated Le Creuset recalled me. Frantically I simmered a soup of washing powder to salvage the Vicar's best saucepan. I blocked it from view when he came home, but he smiled and, for the first time in our marriage, declared: 'Something smells good!'


21 comments:

  1. Hahahaha - how did he feel after tasting it?

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    1. Luckily he made no request to taste it. And politely hasn't mentioned the few black scabs that the brew failed to dislodge!

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  2. Ha ha ha - excellent! You can't beat a Le Creuset pan! When I clicked into this title from the linky - I just knew it was going to be you!

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  3. as any good husband should, the words just came out perfectly! nice presentation of the whole story in such few words. :)

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    1. Since it was the simmering ban of Bold Non-Bio he was smelling, the scent really was attractive!

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  4. If you can cook fish fingers you can cook apples! A nice interpretation :-)

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    1. I can cook apples in theory. It's just that I got distracted and burnt them solid. Mind you, I've been known to do that to fishfingers too!

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  5. This made me smile, but what I really want to know is....how come you have so many apples? We have 3 apple trees, a plum tree and a cherry tree in our garden, but the storms blew away the blossom earlier in the year and we got not a single apple, not a single plum and not a single cherry.

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    1. I don't know. We're bucking the national trend. But so many apples are stressful, don't you know!

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  6. lol, loved the humor in this. Gave me a great chuckle.

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    1. I'm sorry to say it's not an unprecedented saga here either!

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  8. Nice story....nice writing....perfect prompt timing :-)

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    1. It was fortuitous, wasn't it. Julia's prompts always seem to intuit domestic events in the vicarage!

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  9. The number of times my le creuset has been boiling vanish powder.....and still it soldiers on!

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    1. I'm so relieved to have discovered this magical recipe. Before Twitter it was a case of steel wool and knife points.

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