Sunday, 8 December 2013

Aftermath

My mother was returning from work. She called my father to ask him to record The Archers and she started walking from the station. Then, a few hundred yards from home, she stepped onto the zebra crossing.

It was a doctor who hit her - outside the hospital where he worked. Her shredded clothes have been returned to us in a carrier. Her handbag now sits in its usual place on the hall chair, the shoes she was wearing packed inside by police. There is her favourite sheep mug on the draining rack and parcels she had ordered for Christmas arriving in the post. She is absent, yet the house is full of her. We can think of nothing else and yet we forget. My father finds himself putting her towel to warm on the radiator for morning like he always does and nearly calls from the bottom of the stairs to ask if she wants tea before bed.

I used to tune out sometimes when she chattered. Now I bend over her, listening raptly each time her lips move. 'Suffering' was the first word I heard her mumble. Then 'Family'. Her voice isn't her voice; it's become an unnerving baritone. Her face isn't her face; it no longer lights up when she hears us. But I know that deep in that changed body a familiar spirit is battling.

The last weeks have taught me that miracles can happen. I saw it in the face of the surgeon who had doubted she'd last the first night. I saw it in my father's joy when she shifted a bandaged hand. And I know it from the prayers of friends and strangers which are powering us all on.

Advent is a time of waiting and anticipation, and this year doubly so. While others shop for Christmas, when a Child was given, we wait in patient hopefulness - for my mother to be given back.

Thank you for all your messages of support. Each one was greatly appreciated.


20 comments:

  1. I wish you the miracle you hope for and that your prayers be answered for Christmas. lots of love. xxx

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  2. Thoughts, hopes and prayers with you for many miracles to come x

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  3. I'll pray for that miracle.

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  4. Oh my goodness - what a terrible thing to happen. Here's hoping for that greatest gift for you all.

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  5. How awful, please add my prayers and good wishes to the pot xx

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  6. Will remember you and your family in my prayers. Much love x

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  7. I am praying for you and I believe in miracles.

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  8. Oh my lovely I'm so, so sorry you are all suffering. I lost my Dad this time three years ago and I know what it's like to sit by a parents bedside waiting, waiting, waiting for one thing or other to happen. I so hope she comes back to you for your Christmas miracle. xx

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  9. I haven't stopped thinking and hoping for you all. Your mother sounds like a fighter. I will continue to send my wishes your way xxx

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  10. I am so sorry this has happened to you and your family. You are in my thoughts, and I pray this Advent gives you the miracle you all hope for... your mum back for Christmas. X

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  11. Keeping you all in my thoughts xxxx

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  12. I'm so very sorry to hear, and will certainly be crossing and praying that she comes back to you. X

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  13. Oh I have been wondering how your mother is - am glad things are looking hopeful and will continue to pray for you all xxx

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  14. Oh Anna. I'm thinking of you and your family right now. Best wishes for your mother's returning health xox

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  15. Oh Anna I hadn't realised the circumstances - how awful for you all. This, as always, is beautifully written, and I hope she comes back safe to you x

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  16. So very sorry to read about your Mum's suffering Anna. Thinking about you and your family and sending positive thoughts of hope. Jx

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  17. I have sat over my mothers ITU bed and willed her to come back and speak to me, It is the hardest thing to do. Our thoughts are with you all. Much love and hope for her recovery x x x

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  18. Goodness Anna, how I feel for you all. What a shock this must have been. I do hope and pray that your mum is battling on. She sounds like a tough cookie. Praying for you all x

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