Family Time

It is Sunday lunch in the vicarage. Because it is the one meal in the week that the whole family eats together, the table is laid in the dining room with place mats and matching crockery and a lighted candle beside the ketchup bottle. The Vicar says grace, we take our seats and conversation begins.

The 11-year-old, 'What planet are you from, Mum! Potatoes aren't vegetables, they're carbs!'
Me: 'Trust me, they're vegetables.'
The 11-year-old: 'How can you say that something that just pops out of the ground is a vegetable! It's a carb.'
The Vicar (diplomatically): 'They don't just pop out of the ground. Mum worked very hard digging them up.'
The 8-year-old: 'Who do you think's the prettiest girl in this room?'
The Vicar (diplomatically): 'Both of them!'
The 11-year-old: 'What? You're saying mum's pretty! She's middle-aged!'
The 8-year-old (singing): 'Mama do the hump, do the hump hump...'
The 11-year-old: 'He's singing about humping, Mum. Why don't you tell him off?'
Me: 'Please don't sing about humping at the table.'
The 8-year-old: 'OK, I'll sing it in my bedroom.
Me: 'No, I mean just don't sing about humping. At all.'
The Vicar (diplomatically): 'Who can remember what the fruits of the spirit are from the service?'
The 8-year-old (glaring at his sister): 'What I remember from the service is that she ate loads of the cake afterwards and I didn't get any.'
The 11-year-old: 'Don't listen to him. He's a liar.'
The 8-year-old: 'Don't listen to her. She's evil.'
The 11-year-old: 'Hold on everyone, I'm going to burp!'
Me: 'If you dare...'
The Vicar (diplomatically): 'Did you say there were Cornettos in the freezer?'


What are your family meals like? Can you suggest improving topics for discussion next Sunday lunch time?



Comments

  1. Unknown6 October 2013 at 19:21

    yep, all sounds pretty familiar, although you missed out the requests for ketchup (even with a roast), and the who sits in the 'comfiest' chair row (the chairs are identical)!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron7 October 2013 at 09:44

      The comfy chair row only applies to the sitting room, but yes, that was remiss of me about the ketchup!

      Delete
  2. Older Single Mum6 October 2013 at 22:27

    Can't believe either of you have ketchup with Sunday lunch *shocked face* - today's conversation consisted of whether scorpions fly although where the 4yo ever even heard of a scorpion is yet to be established. Otherwise we have a regular theme where we all tell each other 'the good, bad and brilliant' bits of our day, if it helps x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron7 October 2013 at 09:46

      Ketchup is mandatory for every meal involving under 15s (see above). Your meals sound most civilised and I shall try your suggestion next week.

      Delete
  3. AlwaysARedhead6 October 2013 at 22:35

    My children are much older so I don't believe our conversations about condoms, sex or mom swimming topless in the pool are appropriate......yet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron7 October 2013 at 09:46

      You swam topless...!!

      Delete
    2. Anonymous20 October 2013 at 12:53

      Easily much to the disgust of my children, my daughter will come home from work, enter the back yard with her hand covering her eyes so mom can put her bathing suit top back on. Apparently it is okay if they and their friends do it, but not mom. Eh, I just blame it on my menopausal hormones.

      Delete
  4. Iota 7 October 2013 at 09:26

    "Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh, Born in a toilet, Should have got flushed" featured for hours on end at one point in time. Now it's the cup song, accompanied by "Muuuuum, can you MAKE him/her STOP doing the cup song. It's SOOOOO irritating." And burping the alphabet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron7 October 2013 at 09:48

      Oh the cup song! We have that. I'm impressed that you can burp the alphabet!

      Delete
    2. Iota 10 October 2013 at 08:32

      Sadly I can't burp to demand, though I practised for many an hour with my brothers in my youth.

      Delete
  5. Actually Mummy...7 October 2013 at 10:26

    I adore your family. Makes me feel so much better about not being perfect ourselves ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron8 October 2013 at 15:32

      Someone looking through the window with earplugs in might have assumed that we were perfect!

      Delete
  6. Mac n' Janet7 October 2013 at 16:37

    Our daughter is grown, but when she was here, and when she visits now, I'm afraid we all stick our noses in a book. Then we talk about what we've read, it's safer.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mac n' Janet7 October 2013 at 16:38

    Oh, forgot about the lovely prayer for grace that was once used, " Rubba Dub Dub, thanks for the grub, yeah God!"

    ReplyDelete
  8. Older Mum11 October 2013 at 18:24

    Can I come for Sunday lunch at yours and be 'diplomatic'.... this has to be the line of the week for me - 'Who can remember what the fruits of the spirit are from the service?'
    Major LOL. And I mean, major. Little A once said 'we have to drink lots of liquid at the table or our wee wee will turn the same colour as Daddy's beer.'

    ReplyDelete
  9. The Fool12 October 2013 at 20:46

    I don't get much conversation other than 'what you doing daddy' but I do spend a lot of time talking 'don't put food in your hair, eat that don't just suck the sauce off, don't feed the dog, will you please just eat something'.

    ReplyDelete

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